Business Educational

Am A Seasoned Mtu-wa-mjengo, And This Is My Story

Wilson Muriuki
Written by Wilson Muriuki
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Shout out to all professional quacks
out there. Well, our building and
construction industry is saturated with
both half-baked graduates and
schooled quacks. While a normal
graduate aims for employment, a
campus dropout or hustling
undergraduate has no option but
curve a niche that favors his survival.
He is the guy who’s been analyzing
the impacts of election on the
property market and can chart
accurately the recovery path of the
housing market. He can’t afford a
newspaper but can pay ksh20 for a
read. On his mirror-come-whiteboard
is a detailed and updated graph on
rising house prices and home equity
trends. While he can’t secure a big
project, he is the king of specialization
and dare you challenge him for a
renovation duet!!!
He is the last knight you can reach
Truth be told, he is not an average
guy but a top-notch schemer. He
definitely knows you had him at the
bottom of your to-consult list so you
got no option left but Ahem..,he still
has the guts to act desperate. You just
pulled down a house-for-sale advert
because your home doesn’t have a
cost/worth balance. So now you are at
his mercy hoping he offers to flip your
home for a higher resale value in a
bid to secure a reasonable Return On
Investment. Only a professional quack
can explain how replacing your old
door with a stone veneer or sensible
steel door can be done at a cheaper
cost. He is the guy who bases a flip on
survey data to help you choose which
landscaping has a wow factor and
why you need to invest in an
engineered hardwood floor. Wait!!
Did you just call him a consultant?
Well, he is just a smart quack.
He is the most tech-savy
Psssstt!!!got a secret for you: If he
draws your floor plans, does the take
offs, generates a bills of quantities and
documents your project lifecycle
ASAP!,then he is has mastered his art
of trade. Ok, let me shed some little
light on quick delivery done by
professional quacks. First, he has a
powerful laptop that has both offline
and online softwares to help him with
CAD, taking off and construction
project management. Did I tell you
that he has Virtual Reality headset that
gives you a breathtaking immersive
experience when checking out the
renderings. While other sang, “…
mama mama nataka kuwa rapper…”
and were taken to music school, he
sang “…mama needs a house, baby
needs some shoes, all I have to do is
hustle, hustle, hustle hard..” and got
his college fees paid by harambee,
but half! Sad how some graduates-to-
be morph into quacks.
Dilemma galore
-Are you not tired of teleporting in the
name of visualizing floor plans yet still
can’t make meaningful changes after
completion? What if that quack could
convert the plans to Virtual Reality
-Are you not scared of walking to
quarries looking for the best stone
cutters? What if that quack could help
you pick a prefab material like EPS
that’s cheaper?
-Are you not afraid that your loan will
not be serviced in time and you may
lose your home at a throwaway price?
What if that quack could flip it till it
commanded a higher sell price?
Are you not afraid of hiring
professional quacks again?:) *he, him,
his represent females too.

About the author

Wilson Muriuki

Wilson Muriuki

I write for fun :)
When I grow up, I want to be a chef
so that my writing style will be my
signature dish.,Santa, I got two
more wishes left!!

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