I was watching the second series of the program “Younger” when the lights went out.Its about a 40 year old divorcee woman masquerading as a 26 year old(just so that she could secure a youth dominated job).Something to note is that,her love-life-work-parent cohesion is always at loggerheads.But that’s not what fascinated me to use my 1:30 am night writing this.
I have grown to believe,am nyctophobic.Like you,don’t ask how I know,always feel there’s someone looking at you in the dark-like you are not alone,and not in the good way but the “I am freaking out way”.So you think you are afraid of the dark.Actually I got my flashlight on.lights just went out.I must really be nyctophobic.
Then it hits me.This feeling always happens when I have just being with my girlfriend and she is not there anymore.Rarely does it when I know she can’t be there.State of mind ? You think ?Well,you probably right.
Self diagnosis tells me am not afraid of the dark,rather am monophobic.My fear of being alone gets heightened in darkness and that’s why am triple conscious of my surrounding in black environment.And its crazy (I could waste a full phone power on flashlight till morning).
But its not always.Times I sleep alone in the dark and am okay,because am miles away from one close to my heart.But times like this am hyperventilating because in my head she should be here,so am feeling alone.Guess was never nyctophobic.
That off my chest, from one monophobic Gent to one nyctophobic lady out there,I invite you to crush aty place then maybe we can crush our fears.
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