Slay Queens

Missing periods: Behind the curtains of friendship

Wilson Muriuki
Written by Wilson Muriuki
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I know karma is a bitch, but am still to hear of her periods. To girls, your world rotates on a different axis whose full-rotation period is 28 days. For slay queens, you are still stuck in the fantasy world of anxious time travels between BC (Before Clubbing) and AD (After Drinking). Your body ain’t no temple but a human car junk that needs an overhaul at the clinic every 28 days to see if you are good to go the next month. While your sisters are busy taking chill pills from friends, you instead are popping pills not to be pregnated by your lover’s friend.

Your B**** ain’t loyal

Psst!! I couldn’t settle for babe because babies are loyal, nor go vulgar with b!tch because am no zoologist to compare humans with animals. So you went clubbing with your lover’s male friend with or without his consent but never tagged him along. Things got steamy and blah blah blah. Its past your cycle and still counting but breaking the news to your lover that, “Boobear when you were away, your best friends got me pregnant” doesn’t sound good. What of, “Dear bae, It’s three months since you left and I haven’t seen my period coz one of your boys made me pregnant”. If you are a slay queen, you probably will try speaking Xhosa, “Xaxa xwerie, xijaget periods coz xaimo paged me, XOXO!” You ain’t loyal if you sleep with your lover’s friends, period!

You ain’t no slay queen but foetus slayer

Remember your friend’s BFF who made you pregnant but together, you decided abortion would blindfold your dude from the truth? Well, you two are parents to a dead kid. Worse is, you ain’t a slay queen no more but a foetus slayer. While you had promised yourself a #transformation, you are back into screwing your dude’s best friends but now armed with a family planning microchip to troubleshoot any foreign activity from launching.

It is time to tear down the curtains of friendship

Princess, there are multiple second chances in life. The sun’s rays are bright along the curtain slits, but there is more brightness outside. You dude may dump you and your family will see a dirty not-you image of you. But hey!!! These are just a few speculations we can draw based on past events. All you have to do is confess your sins to God. Yeah, I just said that B****. Confession to God does not entail opening up to a pastor but being honest to your maker in a prayer. Second, If you love him, just tell him how you preferred his friends to him. He may be emotionally crushed but only for some time. He may dump you but at least it ain’t no double tragedy: being guilty and dumped too.

NOTE: Friendship is rolling with your friends, but do not extend to rock n rolling’ too. If you love his friends more than him, dump your guy. To my fellow guys, if she is so close to your friends that you are anxious and suspicious, bruh trust your gut because she ain’t loyal!!

About the author

Wilson Muriuki

Wilson Muriuki

I write for fun :)
When I grow up, I want to be a chef
so that my writing style will be my
signature dish.,Santa, I got two
more wishes left!!

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