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TRAGIC! Man loses his campus wife over Smokie prices

Gracey Eunice
Written by Gracey Eunice
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Nothing hits a campus student so hard like the rise in price of a commodity they’re so much used to,not even if it’s by one shilling rise.

Whether the paper industry stopped manufacturing printing papers or beef goes extinct, that’s your problem to handle if you’re in that business at a campus center because to a campus student the price of printing paper or the price of smokies remains.

Whether you’re getting a profit or a loss,that’s a calculation you should never try to make a campus student understand and especially if it’s in a month where all the money from Helb has been spent and survival depends on the coins he’s been throwing in a tin at the corner of his room when he still had the cash to count in notes.

Wait,lemme briefly take you through a campus student financial statement.Every singleĀ 

cent has an extremely big value.A twenty shilling coin can work out as a good supper in the school mess,a game of pool or the only way of becoming a billionaire through betting.

A ten shilling coin can buy a student a good breakfast,enough bundles in an exam to get them a first class honor or get him a girlfriend from those too broke slayqueens who badly needs an ice cream in the scorching mid-afternoon sun.

And a five shilling coin? man,that’s the most painful. Nothing pains so much like missing something you really want so bad because it’s more by 5 shilling coin and the seller behind it insists you have to give the five shillings.

This is heartbreaking.Give me a second to help this comrade sob.

You feel me? This pain cuts deep than being stabbed by a knife over a girlfriend because that would be a heroic loss.


A student at Jaramogi is moaning the loss of his 3year campus girlfriend after she couldn’t get her a smokie whose price had risen by 5 shillings and got publicly dumped.

Unfortunately the price of smokies had risen from 20 shillings to 25 shillings with the sellers claiming that there’s been a rise in beef and pork price and thus the rise on smokie prices.

The guy had taken his long time girlfriend who had said I do and moved in with him in his campus house and officially became his campus wife to a lunch break after hours of reading for the end semester exams.

After a good lunch in one of the hotels around specifically for the students because of the good prices which are always in favour of the students the considering the quantity of the food given.

The couple was on their way back to the varsity when the sight of the smokie men serving another couple with smokies caught the lady’s sight.

Smokie can be so tempting especially when you’ve just spend the little money you had for your lunch and all you’re left with is a few coins to save you from the sleeping hungry plight.

Watching another person take a big bite into the hot smoky agrievated the lady’s appetite to a point she couldn’t hide her salivation and the burning urge to have one too.

The man having been in charge of the lunch was expected to buy his pretty woman with a bad craving for smokie at least one smokie to save her from salivating.The lady who had already lined up behind the other many customers who had a similar craving had just given her order “Nifungie moja.weka kachumbari mob na usiweke chilly” when the her prince charming saw the sticker that read “smokie @25/= only”.

This came as a big blow to the guy knowing he was only left with a twenty shilling coin enough to get her queen one smokie. He had to stop his woman first and confirm from the other person behind the smokie stand who was just about to hand out the lady’s order.

“Boss, kwani si mbao?” The guy inquired hoping it was a simple mistake ion the sticker. “Ni 25/= boss,Hizi vitu zimepanda” The smokie guy gave him another blow..a lifetime dissapontment.

The guy determined to let his girl have the smokie did not easily give up. “cheki,Leo Niko na mbao.nitakujenga io five Bob magidhaa,sikujuwa hii stuff imepanda”.

Heavens turned against him when the smokie guy turned down his plea. “Hio haiwezi boss, ongeza tu io kobole dem akule smoky” he said handing the already made smokie to another customer.

The lady’s patience had already run out and hell broke loose.

A big fight followed with the Lady breathing fire as the guy tried o calm her down without much success.

The devil is a liar,a guy who had been eyeing the same lady for a long time happened to arrive at the scene just in time to have his golden chance..a clean jackpot.

The secret admirer then went ahead to pay for two smokies for the lady and a bonus egg on top.”mgongee na mayai moja” .

He just had his day and didnt have to do any vibing after his heroic act.He walked away with his arm around her waist as the “owner” of the girl stood in desperation since his attempt to get his woman back failed to bear fruits.It was a clean win,no penalties.

Life can be so unfair and the smokie guy may not be the one to blame but when you’re hit with a fanta bottle because you raised the price of an item around campus by one shilling,go back to the drawing board and try to find out exactly whose heart you broke by your one shilling raise in price.

I’m not laughing (hahahaha) I’m going to get my 25/= to get my smokie.

About the author

Gracey Eunice

Gracey Eunice
Find what you love and let it kill you.
If my words ain't shit,neither am I.

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